Ethan Boroian

Ooh Pretty...

Ok, so I never said this would be slap-bang up to the date but now that X-Factor 2009 has bit the dust and Joe McElderry, the gammy toothed, soon-to-be-appearing in 'Joseph' (the musical not his 19 year old boyfriend, obviously, he's, like, so straight!) Geordie boy has walked away with the big prize, lets imagine what could have been.

Ethan Boroian is a 20 year old singer songwriter (he's on myspace - look him up he's not the worst in the world). Born in Illinois, USA but brought up in France from the age of two he developed his guitar playing skills and cute-as-all-hell good looks until he reached the apotheosis of his hotness when he auditioned for UK talent show, The X-Factor.

Despite being a pretty good singer, with a modicum of musical talent (beyond caterwauling like an octave leaping Boyzone exile) and being by far the hottest, sexiest looking man in the competition Cheryl Cole did not put him through. Yet, she did give a place to screechy, malnutritioned Vulcan-eyebrowed scot Ricky Loney. WTF Cheryl?

So, apart from robbing us of the opportunity of seeing Ethan on our screens every week she also robbed young Lloyd Daniels of the opportunity of his first gay relationship. Well, so the rumours went. Please note; those rumours were obviously started by some very dirty-minded gay men with wishful thinking syndrome. Still, makes you think don't it? Ahem...