Simon Walton

A premier league footballer in England but better known to the gays as husband of ditzy, glamour model, celeb Big Brother contestant, Nicola T. (T standing for Tits presumably, hers are ridiculously large for such a sknny girl).

Anyhoo, Mr Walton showed up on Big Brother and immediately set off my throwdown-ometer. So hottt (three ts). He also showed up in Nicola T's place for a night of the Come Dine with Me WAG special and proved himself to be a lovely, shy and humble young man, the sort of man you could take home to your mum and be proud. Despite this trait I couldn't help imagining his cum face and all those locker room roasting sessions.

Phew, cold shower now.